MCSWEENEY'S QUARTERLY SUBSCRIPTIONS
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Articles by
Teddy Wayne
Teddy Wayne is the author of the novels Apartment, Loner, The Love Song of Jonny Valentine, and Kapitoil. He writes the Future Tense column for the New York Times.
Photo by Kate Greathead
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February 20, 2025Our Son Lionel’s Back at School
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July 18, 2024The Aged King and the Nearly as Aged Dragon
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May 28, 2024Pep Talk
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July 27, 2022Pitch Me the Next Pandemic, You Useless Dumbfucks
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July 12, 2022The Earliest Adopters of Bitrock
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May 13, 2021Teachable Moments with the Anti-Vaxxer Family
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit
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October 26, 2020A Quiet Evening at Home With Don, Jr. and Kimberly
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March 3, 2020I Just Don’t Think a Trump Has What It Takes to Be President
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February 24, 2020I Hate Trump’s Awful Policies, but I Love That He’s a Huge Asshole
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October 24, 2019Emotionally Haunted House
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May 9, 2019Hey, I’m Beto, Your Dorm Resident Advisor
Trending 🔥
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January 29, 2026Tinder Hasn’t Worked, So I’m Putting Myself on Zillow
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February 20, 2026Is It a Red Flag? Wuthering Heights Edition
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February 11, 2026The Next Innovation in Higher Education: Vibe-Teaching™
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February 4, 2026Just Because I Hung Out in the Cannibal King’s Murder Basement, It Does Not Make Me a Murderous Cannibal
Recently
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February 23, 2026Introducing Our Lord and Savior, the College’s New Strategic Initiative
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February 23, 2026The Most Likely Ways We Would Have Died in the Winter Olympics
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February 20, 2026Upon Review, It Looks Like President Nyarlathotep’s Small Business Soul Harvest Is Technically Against the Rules
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February 20, 2026Excerpts from The Believer: Island Time
